Me and 3

The number 3 has always held a special and significant place in my life.

New England was a very snowy place back in the 50’s, and for many years as a child, I upheld my own snow filled tradition. I searched for blocks of snow that naturally formed after a storm. I looked for 3 of them that had an appealing shape and gently arranged them on the front porch of my home. No one else had permission to touch them. I took care of them all winter, dusted them off when we got more snow, talked to them, grew to love them, and, come spring, said my painful goodbyes as they slowly melted away before my eyes (is it any surprise that I went into psychology?).

I came from a family of 3 children. My brothers forced me to watch the 3 Stooges. I grew up in with the holy 3 in the Catholic Church. I studied Freud and became best friends with the Id, Ego, and Superego. I earned 3 Master’s Degrees.

There is something for me that sets the number 3 apart. 2 doesn’t work for me. It is too open. I don’t feel any safety in its shape. 4 doesn’t work for me. It is too closed. It feels restrictive and inflexible.

3 is a perfectly balanced number for my body. My spine finds solace in 3’s synchronous shape, fluid and curved. It holds me cradled in the arc of my uncertainty. At the same time, 3 is triangular. Its sturdy and solid base protects me in its angles, degrees, and precision. It’s dependable and creates a feeling of safety in me.

3 is where yin meets yang, masculine meets feminine, and I can begin to find balance within.

I bring up all this because I want you to understand how profound it was for me yesterday when I welcomed in, not 2 or 4, but 3 visitors at my door. Although I do not know how to incorporate them fully into my Self yet, I can articulate how I feel knowing they are present in me.

I feel the tug of opposites: centered and fluid, fortified and soft, straight and curved, angular and wavy, exactly precise and gloriously messy. It’s a tug for sure, but not a tug of war. It’s an expansive tug, and I’m kind of liking it.

I think these are the 3 things they want me to do: welcome, witness, and honor all of me. And I have a feeling we have already started.