I love the way the word “Liar!” said very loudly and with much gusto feels in my mouth. As a matter of fact, I decided several years ago that when I am a guest on The Actor’s Studio and James Lipton asks me that question from Bernard Pivot’s questionnaire, “What is your favorite word?” that I will yell out and savor the word as it exits my mouth, “LIAR!” Not only is it truly my favorite word, but it will be a great way to get a laugh.
However, since last Sunday’s incident of being on the receiving end of yet another big fat lie, I started to reconsider my love of the word. Then I thought about our son, put two and two together and BAM! It was back in my consciousness.
My son lies to me and to his father…all the time…about everything great and small.
It’s second nature to him. There are small ones, and there are plenty of big fat ones. He is/was in the habit of telling me exactly what he thinks I want to hear. What the hell???
Why is he lying, like, ALL the time? How? When did it become okay to lie? Well, it clearly has come from his father. (And if you don’t believe me, read my post from the 21st).
His father has lied to me about many things…great and small.
He put it in the field. It is his fault. Now it all makes perfect sense. What more could I expect than ‘like father like son,‘ or ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.’ This isn’t about me at all.
Blah, blah, blah.
When I finally got over myself, I took a peek at my own behavior and asked myself if the liar energy was in my field, in my environment. My first reaction was a knee-jerked “No!” I reminded myself how I have always made it a practice to be as truthful as I could with my son. And how proud I am of myself that I had never ever knowingly told him a falsehood. Discussion closed.
Then it exited loudly and with much gusto from my mouth. “LIAR!”
I have lied by omission. I have lied to my son by pretending to be “in” my marriage to his father when I had emotionally exited the relationship years before. I have lied to my son by telling him how much I trust him and then controlling every aspect of his life. I have lied by telling him I am fine when I am exhausted or emotionally spent or upset, or just too damn tired to care.
Yes, his father has put the energy of the lie out in the field, but I did too. I lied to myself…all the time…about everything I did not want to face…great and small
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