If you have been reading this blog, you know that my 8-year-old self and I have been taking Salsa lessons for a few months now. Last Saturday in class, my female Instructor (who was playing the man’s part), kept telling me as I performed turns, “Look for me. Look for me.” Let’s face it, Salsa done well is sensuous and sexy (please don’t tell my 8-year-old; she doesn’t realize that yet). However, what I didn’t realize until Saturday was that my resistance in “looking for” my Instructor partner when I turned had absolutely nothing to do with Salsa and everything to do with eye contact. Even with a woman Instructor, and a woman I know quite well; it made me very uncomfortable.
It was just too personal, too revealing, too intimate.
Looking openly and deeply into someone’s eyes and allowing them to look back is a three-part process for me. I honestly don‘t know if I am more afraid of (1) revealing too much of myself through my eyes, (2) seeing the reaction about me in their eyes when I do reveal myself, or (3) taking in what they are telling me about themselves (or maybe even all of the above).
In meditation yesterday, (yes, it is baaaaack!) I was speaking aloud which I often do. I was letting the universe, God, whoever was listening; know that I am ready to step out. I am ready to release conflict from my life and turn everything over to a force and field much greater than I. I am willing to see my life from a completely new place within myself…a more forgiving, more generous, more divine Self. I am ready to release the concept of Magic and embrace the concept of Miracles.
At that point, my Muse and my Metaphor appeared at the end of the chaise and, from betwixt and between them, the Magician stepped out.
Uh-oh.
If you remember from back in March, I did kinda sorta meet the Magician. He appeared to me twice. The first time He said, “Possibilities,” and the second time He said “Miraculous.” I had no friggin’ idea what He was talking about but for some reason I felt the need (and still do) to capitalize any noun or pronoun that refers to Him. Most importantly, He scared the stuffing out of me with His presence, the reddish plumed three-cornered hat that was pulled over His eyes, and His beautiful, intricate, bluer than purple embroidered coat. Honestly, the only thing that kept me in the room when He appeared was the fact that His coat is the same color as my son’s eyes (oh yeah…and the fact that I was frozen with fear).
I announce that I am “over” Magic. He appears. This can’t be good.
He stood there for a minute or two until I noticed a light emanating from the part of His face not covered by His hat and more light in the area down His torso where His coat separated a bit. He stood silently showing me these tiny radiant bits of Him, and I began to relax because I figured it meant He didn’t have a plan to annihilate me. I looked down for a second, and when I looked back up, His hat was gone. Then His coat just disappeared.
The light that emanated from His every cell did not blind me (although I kinda thought it would). It filled the room with warmth, trust and truth.
I looked in His eyes. He looked in mine. I decided to go for it.
(1) I decided to reveal myself and let our eyes take each other in because, as soon as we made eye contact, I started to cry.
(2) I decided to reveal myself and let our eyes take each other in because, as soon as we made eye contact, I felt lifted from my tiny anguished perspective into a more expansive place.
(3) I decided to reveal myself and let our eyes take each other in because He has been saving my life for the past year.
Honest to God the Father; I knew It was J.C. the Son.
And as I looked into His eyes, and He looked into mine, His eyes became a kaleidoscope of colors and shades of color. They morphed from bluer than purple, to green, to brown, to hazel, to black and back again. I saw all of humanity in His eyes. Yes, He told me without speaking. He is in everyone and everyone is in Him.
Okay, now please don’t go all whack-a-doodle on me. There is no organized religious affiliation or connection to dogma here. I grew up Catholic, yes, but I have not practiced Catholicism in decades.
Instead, what I have been trying to do is live a more elevated, loving, joyful, expanded life by discovering and using my unique MEB gifts and talents in service to the evolution of all life on the planet. YES, my own life included.
And I believe that J.C. was the prototype, human like the rest of us, but more elevated, loving, joyful and expanded. And did He use His unique gifts and talents in service to all life on the planet?? Do we really have to go there??
My opening and realization in Salsa dancing paved the way for me to release the idea of magic from my life. Magic implies that there is a special someone who possesses the knowledge and skills to make seemingly impossible things happen. It is entertaining for a minute or two, but we all know it is a sleight of hand, a trick, an illusion. And magicians only share the secrets of those illusions with those officially sanctioned members of the Magician’s Club.
I am not willing to believe that a special person or group of special persons has an exclusive contract with the powers of alchemy. Miracles are abundant if we care to really look into the eyes of others, give of our Selves, and receive their gift of Self to us. Your miracle becomes mine, and mine becomes yours.
I may not have the skills to make a rabbit appear out of a hat, but I have a phrase to remember each time I have the opportunity to partner with another human being, "Look for Me."
I will.
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