A Course In Miracles

Those of you who are also on a spiritual path have probably heard of, if not read, a book entitled, “A Course in Miracles.” I bought the combined edition in December 2008. I read it, took notes, and meditated on what I read pretty much on a daily basis. It took me 18 months to get through the book. Upon completing it in April of this year, I promptly went back to page one and started all over again.

It is a dense book, not an easy read. The writing style and the concepts are extremely convoluted and sometimes difficult (at least for me) to understand on the second or even the third read.

So why did I keep going?

Because I am a dog on a meat wagon when I decide to do something?? Because I am stubbornly Irish?? Because I am a Taurus?? Because I have red curly hair?? Because I don’t know when to give up??

Yes.

But most of all it is because “A Course in Miracles” is the most jarringly honest and truly revolutionary book I have ever had the presence of mind to struggle through, AND because literally every time (and I am NOT exaggerating [for once!]) I struggle with a conflict and ache to blame others, attack, strike back, the LAST thing I want or think I am capable of doing is attaining any sliver of enlightenment. However, it has never failed, that in the middle of conflict, when I open up to my daily read in this stinkin’ book… the passage is exactly applicable to what I am going through at the moment.

And I am most often not happy with the awakening. I will admit that I have had a variety of reactions to those days (like today) when I receive these messages. In the past, I have closed the book with a loud and extremely meaningful slam, or shoved it across the table, or yelled F&*%K YOU (out loud) at it, or stuffed it in a drawer (sometimes all of them one after the other).

Today I lobbed it across the room.

Yesterday, if you remember, I wrote quite comfortably and self-righteously about the lack of trust I and others were feeling in our Mastery leadership. I felt totally justified in my claims that our leaders started the whole conflict. They were untrustworthy first.

Today I opened up to my daily read. This is part of the passage I read:

No one gladly obeys a guide he does not trust, but this does not mean that the guide is untrustworthy. In this case, it always means that the
follower is. Believing that he (the follower) can betray, he believes that everything can betray him (pg 135).

So now this bunch of paper and ink is telling me that it is me who is untrustworthy? It’s telling me that I can’t even project onto other people without the understanding that I am really projecting something I carry within my self?

According to the “Oracle” abilities of this stinkin’ book, I need to look at my beliefs about trust/betrayal within myself. I have to dig deeper than to just make a blanket statement about the attributes of others. It wants me to make a practice of first checking in with where, when, how and why those attributes live within myself.

That point of self-view just about takes all the fun out of projecting anything negative unto other people.

And maybe that’s the point.