Since I released Disappointment, my personal Albatross, into the sea, I have enjoyed sailing in my oceanic Self sans over-protection from the elements. More importantly, I realized that a light coating of SPF 70 is all I need to prepare myself to engage a new way of relating to my Self and to the world from this exposed place.
With that in mind, I notice a wee bit of excitement when I look through my internal scope and see nothing but empty calm. And when the seas do come up, it’s kinda fun to go dead ahead into the rocking of the sometimes sudden waves of conflict and eventually feel release from its wake instead of ending up capsized and swimming in the turbulence of the moment.
With my Costco-purchased sextant in one hand and my Captain’s log in the other, I have entered in the quadrants of my current longitude and latitude while drifting here in my personal oceanic expanse. I must admit that I have absolutely no idea what I will encounter here, or where (or if) I will find land.
And I am surprisingly okay with it.
I am happy to report that experiencing the unknown and navigating via my North Star is alive and well and living in my Parisian infused body. Now that, mates, is an evolutionary and revolutionary new way of being for Ms. General, Ms Gotta Be In Control, Ms. Gotta Have (for safety’s sake) Not Only A Plan A, But Plans B And C.
I have decided that the reason I find myself here is the quest for a new home, an undiscovered and generative terra firma conducive to sourcing the internal and external skills and capacities required to fulfill my calling.
Now that I have removed my Albatross, the excess ballast of my habitual emotions, energies, and feelings, and attended to the song lyrics that were rolling through me like a gentle tide, I can recognize and embrace the truth for me right now.
My previous idea of love is not going to work for me anymore…it’s too tied up in drama, disappointment, and the push-pull of getting individual needs met. What I am looking for is an undiscovered and generative relationship with Love, and like a true explorer, I am searching without any evidence in my life that the quality, purity, and universality of that Love actually exists.
But there is something deep inside telling me that despite the fact that I have no idea what Love is in this Brave New (As Yet Unknown, Undiscovered and Generative) World… it does exist, and I will find it.
Even without the assurance of my inner knowing , I am committed to circumventing any worldly doubts… because I really…really…
Wanna Know What Love Is.
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