My Christmas Gift

I have been thinking a lot the past several days about expansion and contraction and how necessary one is for the other.

The day before Christmas, my pre-emptive fears were the contraction into an old way of being. But instead of ignoring these feelings as silly or selfish or too hard to deal with as I had in the past, I took note of them, named them, and welcomed them in. In accepting them without judgment, I was, simply, able to expand into something more truthful and empowering and let them go.

Yes, I taught the men in my life how to treat me. But instead of staying in victimization about the situation, I realized that I can also teach them to treat me differently. Will it be easy for me or for them? No. Will it cause more “problems?” Probably. Will their behaviors towards me change? Hopefully. Will I start to be the woman I was born to be? Most definitely.

I awoke on Chrstmas day feeling wonderful. There were no “gifts” for me. Yes, my son gave me a card. Yes, his father gave me a card, too. You know what?? In both cases, they wrote how much I mean to them, how precious they think I am, and how grateful they are to have me in their lives.

It was a damn good day.

“Relationships are not there to make us happy. They are there to make us conscious.” Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now